Worrying Gifts

"No, son, I don't know what decisions will be made about your social security. Good night."

The pessimist and the paranoid

Meredith Smits. Devoted wife, mother and worry wart. Did I leave the iron on?...

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

'Mya, you'll go nuts worrying about all the things you can do nothing about!'

A Hole in the Dike

Nervous Oral Testing

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

Separation Anxiety

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

Concern Chart

No Action Comics

The Circle.

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'I don't worry about anything. My Mom does all the worrying for me.'

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

"I can't believe school starts next week. The first math exam is gonna be a killer! Then in six weeks, report cards! I'll probably be grounded!"

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

Credit Crunch.

Worried about the future? We have worst-case-scenario funds!

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder