World Record Aficionado T-Shirts

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

"The health of Mr. Putin is very good!"

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

Guess what he is in the guinness book of records.

Music Collector.

'Put the moon up another 10 cm. I'm going for the record!'

Tube men dancing.

Ban Ki-Moon.

World's Oldest Ball Boy.

'Hello, Guinness Book of Records, what's the longest recorded sulk?'

"No, chasing fifteen cats in one day is not a record. . . unless all of the cats were green."

'Oldest living turkey? I'll see if we have that category.'

'Could I have a receipt for this please?'

'You don't have to get your receipts laminated, Mr. Streitfeld.'

No Soap in the Bathroom

'They may have been repulsive, sadistic, mass-murdering personifications of evil, but they wore a nice uniform.'

"It's gonna be hard for my kid to have type 2 diabetes. He's used to being number 1."

Guinness Book of Records

World Records Office.

'The human speed endurance record holder is here to see you.'

Britain votes no to Syria intervention.

"How can you call yourself a left-leaning audiophile if you've never heard NPR on vinyl?"

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

491 Days Without An Injury

'The bad news is your luggage is in Budapest. The good news is it now holds the world record for the number of pieces it came off the plane in.'

'I aim to be the first man to cross the Atlantic in a tin bath!'

"Thanks, but can we hurry it along? I'm going to be late to my hoarders therapy session."

"Of course, I'm merely thinking out loud, but why don't we just quit?"