World Record Aficionado Pillows

Horace Dung Beetle- Guinness World Record Holder.

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

"The health of Mr. Putin is very good!"

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

Music Collector.

Guess what he is in the guinness book of records.

"Call me if it gets any bigger"

'Put the moon up another 10 cm. I'm going for the record!'

It's so frustrating! They always stop acting evil the minute you start recording.

Tube men dancing.

Ban Ki-Moon.

'Hello, Guinness Book of Records, what's the longest recorded sulk?'

He's the greatest pole vaulter of all time! That's an over-the-top statement.

World's Oldest Ball Boy.

"No, chasing fifteen cats in one day is not a record. . . unless all of the cats were green."

'Oldest living turkey? I'll see if we have that category.'

'You don't have to get your receipts laminated, Mr. Streitfeld.'

'Could I have a receipt for this please?'

Ralph holds the Guiness world record for nosehair!

World Records Office.

'The human speed endurance record holder is here to see you.'

No Soap in the Bathroom

"How can you call yourself a left-leaning audiophile if you've never heard NPR on vinyl?"

Britain votes no to Syria intervention.

World record setter Usain Bolt.

Guinness Book of Records

"It's gonna be hard for my kid to have type 2 diabetes. He's used to being number 1."

'They may have been repulsive, sadistic, mass-murdering personifications of evil, but they wore a nice uniform.'

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

'The bad news is your luggage is in Budapest. The good news is it now holds the world record for the number of pieces it came off the plane in.'

'I aim to be the first man to cross the Atlantic in a tin bath!'

491 Days Without An Injury

Donald Trump