Record-setting Enthusiast Pillows

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

'Look after your feet, always wear a prophylactic and never travel faster than 300mph on water!' SAGE WORDS FROM SIR DONALD CAMPBELL!

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

Music Collector.

Guess what he is in the guinness book of records.

Linford Christie

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

Crowd await return of a round the world yachtsman. PC asks 'Expecting someone, are we?'

"Call me if it gets any bigger"

Tube men dancing.

'Put the moon up another 10 cm. I'm going for the record!'

It's so frustrating! They always stop acting evil the minute you start recording.

'Hello, Guinness Book of Records, what's the longest recorded sulk?'

World's Oldest Ball Boy.

'Wow, a new personal best: You held your breath for 10mn 46s!'

"No, chasing fifteen cats in one day is not a record. . . unless all of the cats were green."

Horace Dung Beetle- Guinness World Record Holder.

He's the greatest pole vaulter of all time! That's an over-the-top statement.

'Oldest living turkey? I'll see if we have that category.'

Ralph holds the Guiness world record for nosehair!

"It's gonna be hard for my kid to have type 2 diabetes. He's used to being number 1."

"Great...ski jumping world record...the media will love me...the fans will love me...and so will the doping control officers..."

'Hello, Book of World Records? My husband would like to know what the record is for continuous farts?'

World Records Office.

'The human speed endurance record holder is here to see you.'

World record setter Usain Bolt.

Guinness Book of Records

World Records by Migratory Birds.

'Congratulations on smashing the marathon world record! What would you say was the secret to your success?'

"Well, I'm not breaking any records. How about you?"

'The bad news is your luggage is in Budapest. The good news is it now holds the world record for the number of pieces it came off the plane in.'

'I aim to be the first man to cross the Atlantic in a tin bath!'