Record-setting Enthusiast Pillows

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

'Look after your feet, always wear a prophylactic and never travel faster than 300mph on water!' SAGE WORDS FROM SIR DONALD CAMPBELL!

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

Music Collector.

Guess what he is in the guinness book of records.

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

Crowd await return of a round the world yachtsman. PC asks 'Expecting someone, are we?'

'Put the moon up another 10 cm. I'm going for the record!'

Tube men dancing.

'Hello, Guinness Book of Records, what's the longest recorded sulk?'

'Wow, a new personal best: You held your breath for 10mn 46s!'

"No, chasing fifteen cats in one day is not a record. . . unless all of the cats were green."

World's Oldest Ball Boy.

'Oldest living turkey? I'll see if we have that category.'

"It's gonna be hard for my kid to have type 2 diabetes. He's used to being number 1."

"Great...ski jumping world record...the media will love me...the fans will love me...and so will the doping control officers..."

'Hello, Book of World Records? My husband would like to know what the record is for continuous farts?'

World Records Office.

'The human speed endurance record holder is here to see you.'

Guinness Book of Records

'Congratulations on smashing the marathon world record! What would you say was the secret to your success?'

"Well, I'm not breaking any records. How about you?"

'The bad news is your luggage is in Budapest. The good news is it now holds the world record for the number of pieces it came off the plane in.'

'I aim to be the first man to cross the Atlantic in a tin bath!'

World record attempt: Most days in a row wearing the same pair of gym socks.