Workplace Tension Enthusiast Gifts

'Sit down. I'll like to discuss your expense account.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'These are job perks.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'My poor darling! Did your boss put you under pressure again?'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

That's the chairman's office.

"I'm your exit strategy."

'Good news! The boss called me in - I'm one of his people.'

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

Miss Wilkins, I need you to pop in and hang up my phone for me again.

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'I've read my appraisal and this is my solicitor - I intend to sue you!'

'I'm certainly no expert on the matter, but throwing the copier out the window just may be a sign you're suffering from stress.'

"When given a choice, a lot of them prefer eternal torment over being stuck in a 9 to 5 job."

"THIS looks like a job for ... somebody else."

"This one is less distracting."

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

'Can we talk... alone?'

'Ahhhh. Did I just feel the tension in here break, or was it the elastic on my underwear?'

"I always put things off until the last minute."

'Aren't you glad we had this meeting to resolve our conflict?'

'You're vaarking too aard,'

"Welcome aboard. Here're your ID, your door code, and your antacid."

'I'd like to report my husband mis...Edgar?'

'Hey you two, take it off-line!'

A really great place to work: 'Entitlement Inc'

Man looking incredibly dizzy