Workplace Stress Gifts

"Must you work overtime? Haven't you made enough mistakes for one day?"

"Nighty-night, sleep tight, don't let the compliance department investigators bite."

"Welcome aboard. Here're your ID, your door code, and your antacid."

'Your evaluation is based on the next 30 seconds. Go!'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'I wish the boss didn't feel the need to pop a tranquilizer every time I ask to see him!'

'Hold on. It was only a computer error.'

'Ahhhh. Did I just feel the tension in here break, or was it the elastic on my underwear?'

'Remember the good ol' days, when resigning was enough.'

"I'm your exit strategy."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

Stress Busters - Doodle Maze - Leopards

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

"I think your idea of stress relief is drastic!"

'My poor darling! Did your boss put you under pressure again?'

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

Death Boss

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

Sinking sales

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"It's our latest targets...We have to do twice as much with half the stuff in a quarter of the time!"

Sold It All.

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'You're having a mid-life crises...'

'I've read my appraisal and this is my solicitor - I intend to sue you!'