Job Stress Gifts

Sinking sales

'In an effort to cut back on unnecessary expenses, I have decided not to pay your salaries.'

'If you don't mind me saying, you're looking a little tired.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

Sold It All.

'The pressure is too great. We want to be transferred out of panacea research.'

"Two lousy weeks. You people can surely make do for two lousy weeks."

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'You really need to relax, Ted. Why don't you take some time off and go golfing.'

"I'm not normally the type who works well under pressure"

'You're having a mid-life crises...'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

Death Boss

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

Stress Busters - Doodle Maze - Leopards

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

"I think your idea of stress relief is drastic!"

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'My poor darling! Did your boss put you under pressure again?'

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"I'm your exit strategy."

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'I'm certainly no expert on the matter, but throwing the copier out the window just may be a sign you're suffering from stress.'

"When given a choice, a lot of them prefer eternal torment over being stuck in a 9 to 5 job."