Career Stress Gifts

Stress Busters - Doodle Maze - Leopards

"Young farmers are ALWAYS finding something to moan about, but 18 hours days in all conditions never did me any harm!"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

Caged Businessman

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

Death Boss

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'How long's he been out there?'

Sinking sales

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

Yoga.

"I'm your exit strategy."

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

Still Here

Sold It All.

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

'You're having a mid-life crises...'

Don't jump! Just think what it will do to your wife and kids not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!

"Unfortunately, Whitcomb, I am suffering from compassion fatigue."