Work Stress Gifts

'We only hire people who are willing to take on more than they can handle.'

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

"A coronary ?...let me see, I could just about fit one in around September, next year."

'We've met our goal for the year...we're still alive!'

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

"Good day at the office dear?"

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'I'm certainly no expert on the matter, but throwing the copier out the window just may be a sign you're suffering from stress.'

Man looking incredibly dizzy

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

"When given a choice, a lot of them prefer eternal torment over being stuck in a 9 to 5 job."

"Underpaid, overworked, stressed and exhausted... still enough of my problems, what can I do for you?"

'You can't sleep? Just pretend you're at the office.'

'-and what do you hope to get in your chosen career - beer gut or ulcer?'

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

"You have a giant rip in your pants."

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'I haven't found anything wrong with your report yet, but it's ok for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'

'That is the businessman's lunch, sir -- coffee and Prozac.'

'It started with my calls, but now the boss won't even return my eye contact.'

"On top of everything else this is a bureaucratic nightmare."

"I always put things off until the last minute."

"It's not fair that I have to get up and live the day I already had nightmares about."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"At work the burden of responsibility can be quite heavy but it's rarely the reason for being overweight."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

Stress Busters - Doodle Maze - Leopards

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'

"I think your idea of stress relief is drastic!"