Work Stress Warrior Gifts

'You're vaarking too aard,'

'Parker does his best work under pressure.'

A real estate agent seeks help.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

37 years in the same position.

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Low-Energy Drinks

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Fight or Flight

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'