Work Stress Warriors Gifts

'I understand he tried to unwind from work too quickly and got the bends.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

37 years in the same position.

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'