Dealing With Job Stress Gifts

"You're fired until I calm down."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

Stress Busters - Doodle Maze - Leopards

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

"I think your idea of stress relief is drastic!"

Death Boss

'My poor darling! Did your boss put you under pressure again?'

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

Sinking sales

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"I'm your exit strategy."

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

Sold It All.

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'You're having a mid-life crises...'

'If you don't mind me saying, you're looking a little tired.'

'Jones, I have asked this officer to arrest you on the grounds that you are a serial time killer.'

"When given a choice, a lot of them prefer eternal torment over being stuck in a 9 to 5 job."

'I don't known why these people are always complaining... we give them stimulating challenging work.'

'I'm certainly no expert on the matter, but throwing the copier out the window just may be a sign you're suffering from stress.'

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

"I always put things off until the last minute."