Job Stress Recovery Gifts

'In these difficult economic times, we all need to tighten our belts.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Danger Slow Sand.

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

"I think your idea of stress relief is drastic!"

'My poor darling! Did your boss put you under pressure again?'

Death Boss

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

Sinking sales

"It's our latest targets...We have to do twice as much with half the stuff in a quarter of the time!"

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"I'm your exit strategy."

Workaholic on a cruise

'I need to get away and unwind!'

"The sea will doctor you now."

'We got here too late. All his fizz is gone!'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

Sold It All.

You need to relax. Take this prescription to any travel agent.

'You're having a mid-life crises...'

'How did things go at the office today?'