Career Stressor Gifts

Drive thru speaker and toilet both lament their lot in life at the pub.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

Caged Businessman

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

Stress Busters - Doodle Maze - Leopards

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'Maybe we did pile too much work on his desk.'

Death Boss

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'How long's he been out there?'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

Sinking sales

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

Yoga.

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"I'm your exit strategy."

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

Sold It All.

Still Here

"Unfortunately, Whitcomb, I am suffering from compassion fatigue."