Workplace Revamp Gifts

"I have a system."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

National Boss Monument.

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Yes, can I help you?'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

InIn by-products.

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

'This is Bob - our secret agent of change.'

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'