Workplace Change Gifts

"One final thing….Did you take anything from the mini bar?"

"You haven't been terminated, just your paycheck."

"...there's a right way and a wrong way to clear your desk!"

'Because of cost cuts, your computer and telephone got removed. Just make a 'Click-Click' noise for typing, 'Bzzt-Bzzt' for printing and 'Ring-Ring' for incoming calls.'

"Always on time, always in the room and then they go an replace me with a cheaper, foreign elephant."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

Where your mind & battle are los

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Butterfly Woman

'Let's not go by the book.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.