Changing Jobs Gifts

'Sorry, I've been head-hunted by another pride.'

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'You aren't actually being replaced by a woman she's going to be doing her old job and yours.'

'Do you have any employers references?'

"We're considering outsourcing your job. Could you explain to this guy in Guatemala whatever it is you do around here?"

'I'm stuck in this job!'

'I'm stepping out, for a few hours, to look for a better job. Can I bring anything back for you?'

"I need a transfer from the wind tunnel departmnet please."

'It's time for McWit to leave. He's learned all the acronyms we use.'

'I don't usually deal with headhunters on jobs that pay $21,500.'

"Jenkins is leaving next week. Perhaps we should buy him a parting gift..."

'I was just wondering how much longer I'll be working in the bowels?'

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'

"... And we can offer you twice your previous salary. Providing you last worked in 1985 that is."

'I batted cleanup, I was the R.B.I. King, the go-to guy... then the boss said no more sports metaphors.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

"To be honest mate, the job sounds like it's well boring."

'What if I am blocking the doorway...It's my shop!'

"I want to enjoy the greener grass on the other side of the fence, but the problem is that I don't know where that fence is."

'Don't bother showing me your tattoo of the company logo... you're still fired.'

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

'I was sorry to hear that you'll be leaving us next week, Higgins...I was hoping it was this week.'

'Well, Annie... you're arrogant and unfair, you don't have any know-how and you're ugly as hell. Ideal qualities for a great career in our company!'

No, you may not make a resignation speech.

Estelle Morris resignation

"You didn't even have the decency to tell me I've been replaced?"

"I know you need some certainty in your job, so you're fired."

I'm not only firing you, Fusco, I'm also unfriending you.

Mega Corp. Employee Exit. I know every day is a gift, but sometimes I wish it had a return policy.

"You've been chewed up and spitout by some very prestigious firms."

Pirate with a Shepherd's Crook for an Arm

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.