Moving To A New Job Gifts

101 Witty Things to Write in Someone's Leaving Card.

"I love smartphones. I can keep in touch with everything I came here to get away from."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Killer Executive Suits.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Carefree luggage.

Others will fight for you

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Reach for the Star.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'