Job Change Gifts

"This is the best news."

'Why me...why me have I suffered enough? Can't I just be left alone!'

"Blame culture...who is reponsible for this?" "Him..him..him...her..."

Desk trays - 'In' and 'Out-sourced'.

'Don't worry about doing the right thing. There'll be plenty of time for that when you're fired,retired,or reincarnated.'

"I've decided to leave the company. Could I have my soul back?"

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'Not everyone is able to cope with change.'

'Sorry I fired you, Maggie. I got my husband's testosterone patches mixed up with my estrogen patches.'

"We need a dedicated team player. How are you at toiling in obscurity?"

"And another thing, Beckton, I don't recall ever saying, 'Correct me if I'm wrong.' "

There's going to be a lot of this around here.

Leaving cards.

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

"We fired our legal department and bought a paper shredder instead!"

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

"We've decided, Carmichael, to give you back to the community."

'Takeover is such a harsh word, Harris, let's just say that your people are now my people.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"That's it, I quit. I don't know how anyone can stand working under you."

Boss outraged by employee leaving for a better job

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'I hope you haven't come to ask for a rise, Wilkins.'

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'Stress can kill, but it takes too long.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

'...and please remember, if I HAD a door, it would always be open for you.'

'...then I said, 'give me a raise, or I quit'.'

"You're fired."

'It's the boss' attempt to convey a certain openness.'

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

"Have a seat, chief - while you were out the company was restructured."