Transitioning To A New Job Gifts

'There are a lot of drips working here, but you'll learn to go with the flow.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

Killer Executive Suits.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Carefree luggage.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Reach for the Star.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Pipe Dream.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Work Parfait

New Guy.

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Surfing the daily stress

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."