Workplace Peace Gifts

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

National Boss Monument.

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

HR - Helping Relationships

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

InIn by-products.

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!