Workplace Harmony Seeker Gifts

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

'I like team players. However, it's not necessary to suit up, Ferguson.'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'We're all still learning the agree-to-disagree concept.'

Office Smoking Conflict

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

Nuclear Proliferation

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"Good question: When can you see your families?"

Separation Anxiety

Team Work

"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

Magic Carpet Cleaning

"Everybody in the whole damn household is alpha."

Personnel. Are you familiar with "flex time"? Just the usual kind -- slow workdays and fast weekends.

Workplace bullying.

Sharing the load.

"Quit picking fights with everyone."

"We prefer our idea people to present their ideas during office hours."

Applying skills in teaching special needs students to dealing with colleagues.

Nuclear disarmament.

Musical washing

'Relax, Silly. He's not here for you.'

Woman is on computer searching a website for lost socks.

Cleaning up the world's nuclear programs.

"Hang on, isn't this the sort of thing we're supposed to be deterring?"

Conflict resolution in the workplace.

Palestinian Dove of Peace

"Hey, do you want to hear a vicious rumor about one of the female employees?"

You guys are the perfect team! He's our number one problem maker and you're our foremost problem solver!