Workplace Joke Enthusiast Gifts

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

Golfing Boss

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Work Parfait

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'