Workplace Humor Admirer Gifts

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

Lonely at the top, OK, but not looney.

'Of course, the tortoise won. He's UNION and the rabbit's not.'

'If you sing 'If I Had a Hammer' one more time, I'm going to hit you with one.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'Gerald, it's so nice to see you finally getting closer to your employees.'

"Greetings, Earthling - Are you a worker or a drone?"

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Indecision and Outrage Trays

'JB, TS is waiting to see you and GR has just arrived.'

'Here's your workplace. You will find out company is not big on CCTV cameras or punch clocks.'

Earl suspends his disbelief.

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Two doctors holding hands

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'