Workplace Gladiator Gifts

"There's no bonuses. But we'll give you $50 to eat a bug and let us film it."

'OK, last one standing gets to choose where we're going for lunch.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

Rage.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

'Dog eat dog.'

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"Everything's gone up."

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

Run, Mike, Run!

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

"I feel your pain. It's the least I can do for not paying you like a man."

Business cartoon showing a stressed business woman who has three urgent messages on her office door.

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

Boardroom Armour

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'