Workplace Gladiator Pillows

"There's no bonuses. But we'll give you $50 to eat a bug and let us film it."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Rage.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

'Dog eat dog.'

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"Everything's gone up."

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Run, Mike, Run!

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

Business cartoon showing a stressed business woman who has three urgent messages on her office door.

"I feel your pain. It's the least I can do for not paying you like a man."

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

Boardroom Armour

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."