Corporate Gladiators Gifts

'It was a power struggle but I won!'

"To succeed in business, you can't be weak. So to toughen you up, you'll be dropped off in the antarctic wearing only your underwear, and having only a butter knife."

After the layoff, Henry took a temporary job with Alamo Inc.

An older white male executive is barely hanging onto his career

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

'Dog eat dog.'

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

I'm Spartacus.

Run, Mike, Run!

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

"I feel your pain. It's the least I can do for not paying you like a man."

Business cartoon showing a stressed business woman who has three urgent messages on her office door.

Sometimes I feel the company would collapse if we weren't here.

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

Boardroom Armour

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.