Office Gladiators Gifts

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

"That's the game- somebody gets emasculated."

Run, Mike, Run!

"You've bust your hump."

"I can't decide which one of you should get the promotion, so I'm setting up a boxing match between you two to decide."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

'Dog eat dog.'

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

I'm Spartacus.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

"I feel your pain. It's the least I can do for not paying you like a man."

Business cartoon showing a stressed business woman who has three urgent messages on her office door.

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

Boardroom Armour

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

"I've called the meeting to discuss the problem of stress int he workplace."

The rat race

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'