Desk Gladiator Gifts

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Rage.

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

Busy day at the office.

Run, Mike, Run!

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

Onion Guillotine

The rat race

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

"You've bust your hump."

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

"I've called the meeting to discuss the problem of stress int he workplace."

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

"Are we afraid of a little competition? Based on the figures, absolutely."

'Where do I see myself in five years? Well, if I make it through this day...'

Pecking order spats take their toll.

Drowning in Paper.

'I've read my appraisal and this is my solicitor - I intend to sue you!'

"You're ruthless in your ambition, Henderson- I admire that."

"You need to put on some weight if you want to keep your job!"

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

It was supposed to be a friendly takeover?

'Well, Jim, it appears you just put your finger on my one point of terrible vulnerability!'