Office Gladiator Gifts

'Have a good day, sweetie. Mommy has to go to the office now and attempt to drive a stake through the heart of her competitors.'

"The market was volatile."

"Alternative Dispute Resolution"

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

Civil & Uncivil Servants.

'Great talk, J.T. You certaimly filled them with the fighting spirit!'

"Why not? Regular negotatiations with management wasn't working."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I can't decide which one of you should get the promotion, so I'm setting up a boxing match between you two to decide."

Pecking order spats take their toll.

It was supposed to be a friendly takeover?

'Whoever's left standing get to be VP of Public Relations.'

"Sir, I have a bone to pick with you."

"Perhaps you forget, you told me to be more assertive!"

Rat Race

"If he wins he makes partner."

"Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines."

"You've planned a meeting with 12 people? I advice a strict agenda, whip and chair."

"Damn you Smith, you competitive b*****d..."

"Another day in paradise."

"You're ruthless in your ambition, Henderson- I admire that."

"It's J.B.'s new junior executive promotion policy. . . whoever survives gets the promotion!"

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"Bare knuckles? Not since the eighties."

"I've called the meeting to discuss the problem of stress int he workplace."

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

"Gentlemen, I've decided to reduce our executive committee to three members."

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

'I get so tired of jousting with that guy.'

"It's that time of year. Another challenge to Larry's dominance over the Accounts Payable Department."

"I see you're still facing considerable head winds too."

The rat race

In the old days a simple vote of no confidence from the board would have sufficed!

'I'm sorry, Fergie, but right now I'm feelin' envy and a whole lot of anger.'

"That's enough rope-a-doping Henderson!"