Workplace Comic Pillows

"It's time to brainstorm our mission statement...."

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?

"I started in the Lab and worked my way up."

'You need to be more persistent. Now, get out of here and keep coming back until you've worn me down.'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'Micro payment? I've been on micro payment for years!'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"No, son, there's no severance package."

'This came in from somewhere. Could you send it somewhere else?'

'We're doing batch uploads today.'

'We forgot why we hired him, and he forgets why he works here.'

"In this company we don't just appreciate our workers. We celebrate them from their first until their last day, which as you might have noticed for you has come today."

"This call may be monitored to see if our operators are working hard to ell you add-ons."

"Words cannot describe my feelings for your work, so I've sent you a string of vicious emojis."

Fortunately for Brad, he isn't paid to think.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Another day at work would be one too many...

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'