Workplace Comic Fan Pillows

In case of fire, change subject.

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

Stingy boss won't give an employee a pay rise after 6 years.

'You can't sack me just because I'm totally useless. That's discrimination against totally useless people.'

I'm the vice president of something or other...

'It's not that I don't appreciate the work you do for us, it's just that nobody does.'

'For your idea that saves the company 500,000, I'm awarding you this certificate of appreciation,'

'Things are going quite well today, Ms. Simms, so i'll be canceling my outburst.'

Some of the managers expect feedback from her counseling session....

Office worker sitting in the Out tray.

Lemon Flavored Water (Instead of Raises)

"You are adequately qualified, Mr. Harris, but I'm afraid I'll be hiring somebody else as I don't think I can stand looking at your stupid little face all day long."

'I'm changing the holiday schedule, you're on holiday from now.'

'Your falback position, Petersen, is out the door.'

Leaked Documents.

'Fortunately, Henderson's no fool - He's a damn'd fool.'

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

'I hired you, Jackson, I can certainly fire you... or promote you... I'm not really sure... I fired my decision guy!'

"The boss went undercover and got fired the very first day!"

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

Full disclosure: My parent company is Disney.

'According to our auditor, the extent of our company health plan will have to be 2 aspirins and call your supervisor in the morning.'

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

'I don't mind giving him your message, but you'll have to punch him in the face yourself.'

"I'm not married to my job. More like everyday's a blind date."

"Wake up, Jenkins! I need your input on a good reason for firing you."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Early photobombing

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

Suffering from Cooties?