Office Comic Lover Pillows

"We look for people who can quickly adapt to changes in the workplace."

'The decision on your stock options, raises and bonuses will be announced on Monday so as not to spoil your weekend.'

'You impressed one of our new managers in Calcutta so much, he's arranged for you to marry his daughter.'

"I have a policy against dating someone at work so I'm firing you."

"What's your problem? Is it ignorance or apathy?"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

International Women's Day

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

No-Work Orange

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

Window Treatment

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

Zeus's Caddy