Workplace Banter Enthusiast Pillows

Drop your Daughter Off at Work Day

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"Greetings, Earthling - Are you a worker or a drone?"

'Gerald, it's so nice to see you finally getting closer to your employees.'

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

Indecision and Outrage Trays

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Here's your workplace. You will find out company is not big on CCTV cameras or punch clocks.'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

Two doctors holding hands

Earl suspends his disbelief.

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

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