Workday Start Gifts

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Late/Too Late.

'I hate Mondays.'

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

I hate monday mornings.

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

In and In Too Deep Desk Organizers.

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

Choosing What To Wear.

Sleepwalking to work.

Harv works the red shift.

"This is my first day. I don't have any yet."

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

Do not feed the clerks.

"What time is it mentally?"

'Oh come on, we all have our crosses to bear.'

"You'll be allowed to work from home two days a week... Saturday and Sunday."

"Lunchward ho!"

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

"We need to hire more women."

"...But it's only Thursday. I'll be confused all day now."

"I hope your day is going bad."

"Another Monday and Albert couldn't get his ass out of bed."

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

"The meeting's over but it's so close to the end of the day. Let's just use our collective inertia and run out the clock."