First Day Of Work Gifts

'Hello, Mom. Remember dressing me on my first day of school? Could you run me through that again?'

'Do you work for the government?'

Pull yourself together

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

My First Camera

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Pajama Day 743

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Today we learned to count to one.

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Late/Too Late.

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'