First Week At Work Gifts

"Poor Chap,he's only been here a few days but the pressure of the job seems to have got to him already."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Pajama Day 743

Back to work...

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'I hate Mondays.'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

I hate monday mornings.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

The Paper Route

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

Responsibility and duties

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

'We offer full benefits. A desk, a chair and your very own cubicle.'

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

The Horn of Unanswered Email

'You will have no hope of recognition or advancement. That's why you'll be underpaid.'