Work Conference Gifts

Prison Officers' Conference - Break Out Space.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

Inclusive speech

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Group Think Time

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

The interested bystanders.

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

Mark Zuckerberg

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

The Card Flinger