Work Colleague Gifts

"Item 1 - party hats will be worn to all meetings to bring a sense of fun and frivolity to proceedings. Item 2 - you're all fired."

I want to get Rudy a Christmas gift. What would he like? Seriously? Yes, seriously. Maybe I do spend all day mercilessly taunting him, driving him to the point of tears ... But that doesn't mean I can't give him his heart's desire for Christmas. Sometimes people still surprise me. Then I can remind him for years that I bought him a gift and he didn't buy me one! But usually not.

'Hide me.'

'I say Johnson, what are you doing with my wife?'

"He will be somewhat surprised when he meets the new gay guy from accounting!"

"C'mon, Carl... you're not fooling anybody with that rug."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"It means, Thank Goodness I'm Boss."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'Look, you can only do so much!'

International Women's Day

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

Boss's Desk Says No!

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"Meet The Author"