Colleague Gifts

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"Now that the holidays are over we'd like you to get back to crunching numbers."

"First, do no harm. After that, go nuts."

When life gives you lemons...

"The thing is, you have to really want to change."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Too many coxes.

"I'm serious about keeping my New Year's resolutions. In the past, my resolutions when in one year and out the other."

"Can't you just whistle while you work?"

'That would be a whole lot funnier if it weren't hooked up to your colostomy bag.'

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"Alright, who's the ringleader?"

'Before our principal addresses the faculty, there's something important that has to be said.'

Good News, Bad News - Save the Leg.

"Due to an incident at the Bergen Street station, everything has changed and nothing will ever be the same."

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

Great coaching is about helping others move forward....

'As a team we can create problems none of us could cause as individuals.'

"What can I say? I was an English major."

'I'm trying to decide if it's more likely I know nothing about leading or everyone I work with knows nothing about following.'

"It's OK, this is a teaching hospital. Some people just have to learn that the hard way."

Desk bins: 'Action' 'Action-Worthy' 'Action-ific'... 'Actually Done' (Nothing).

Church mice: 'We'd like to talk to you about cheeses.'

Boss at board meeting looks at colleague wearing helmet, headphones and strapped-on pillows, saying: 'I think, perhaps, we need to come up with a new approach to risk management.'

"All work and no play makes you a valued employee."

"You must learn to let go."

'We're wondering whether you'd fit into our corporate culture!'

"We don't pay you less because you're a woman.. we pay you less because we're men!"

'Now, who owns this project?'

Do you remember when all we had to worry about was the patients?

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

'It's OK, everyone makes mistakes. Look at me. I hired you.'