Word Wrangler Gifts

"And just where did that extra vowel come from?"

Editor.

"I see here the party of the first part says 'potato.' The party of the second part says 'potahto.' The party of the first part says 'tomato,' the party of the second part says 'tomahto.' Both parties, by mutual agreement, wish to call the whole thing off

They said the same thing, but in very different ways.

"Well, he didn't get that kind of language from me!"

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

Women Argues With Cabby Over Prices.

'I know my memos are looking a bit dated. I have to send for an updated version of the educational buzzword generator software.'

'Tonight's first story starts with a great, big word that I can't read.'

'For snoring?! Hell that's nothin'. I once shot a man for ending a sentence in a preposition.'

'If a picture is worth a thousand words, then your essay is 250 words over the limit.'

Literary rain

"This contract is gobbledeegook. . . I asked for mumbo jumbo!"

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

'Ah, the Bermuda Rectangle for files.'

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

"We need a better piling system."

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

The Critic...

"Great moments in songwriting" "What if she had a little lamb?" "Maybe it follows her to school?" "Wouldn't that make the children laugh?" "Exactly."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Moon, June...'

"I handle chatty people for him."

Bureaucratic castle

"I have a system."

"Not guilty, because your lawyer came up with some great excuses."

Doctors talking about ways to confuse patients with jargon.

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

"Can I add just one more project to your workload?"

"What's wrong with my filing system?"