Word Lover Gifts

"I have a love of words, too."

"Hey, you know those collective nouns are just a bunch of crap, right?"

One last book

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Gay Times...

Wok. Don't Wok.

Vlad the Inhaler

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"It feels good to unwind..."

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Rap music

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Fishing for complements

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

MLK

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

An infinity pool table

You are what you eat!

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

'Do it write the first time.'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"Oooh! I think I just felt our stock split."