Word Play Lover Gifts

Macroscope

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

"Oh, can't complain."

Man: 'Hey Barney,QUICK,get up here and check out this storm! There's BASEBALLS the SIZE of hail!'

"Have you heard of a musician called 'cell-o-phane'?"

"My parents must have forgotten what they learned in school. I heard them talking about renewing their vowels."

"Hello, dr. . . Yeth, I feel thick."

"Brother Simon is so accomplished he can do tongue twisters in tougues."

Bit on the Side

'Be honest buddy.--- Does my butt look big in this?...'

'Cut to the chaste, Brother Mark.'

'He spelled a naughty word with the alphabet blocks.'

Sheila had a photographic mammary.

Taxidermist (a cab with 2 stuffed guys in it).

When I key in Alzheimer dot com, it says 'sorry, not enough memory'.

'Just look'in'

'Mi caca es su caca.'

A Bug's Life Advice

"That's not what I meant when I said you could drop some weight."

"I'm not so much interested in 'wellness' as I am 'swellness'."

"I wonder, Cyndee, whether your parents are aware of this week's spelling of your name."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"