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Macroscope

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

"Oh, can't complain."

Man: 'Hey Barney,QUICK,get up here and check out this storm! There's BASEBALLS the SIZE of hail!'

"Have you heard of a musician called 'cell-o-phane'?"

"My parents must have forgotten what they learned in school. I heard them talking about renewing their vowels."

"Hello, dr. . . Yeth, I feel thick."

"Brother Simon is so accomplished he can do tongue twisters in tougues."

Bit on the Side

'Be honest buddy.--- Does my butt look big in this?...'

'Cut to the chaste, Brother Mark.'

'He spelled a naughty word with the alphabet blocks.'

Sheila had a photographic mammary.

Taxidermist (a cab with 2 stuffed guys in it).

When I key in Alzheimer dot com, it says 'sorry, not enough memory'.

'Just look'in'

'Mi caca es su caca.'

A Bug's Life Advice

"That's not what I meant when I said you could drop some weight."

"I'm not so much interested in 'wellness' as I am 'swellness'."

"I wonder, Cyndee, whether your parents are aware of this week's spelling of your name."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Staff support"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Vlad the Inhaler

Wok. Don't Wok.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'