Wordplay Lover Gifts

"Now that the holidays are over we'd like you to get back to crunching numbers."

Hamlet's Duplex

"Take your time."

Dermatologist: Rash decisions made here.

"Very interesting professor...now do you think you could sum that up in six words or less, three of which have to be 'cancer', 'cure' and 'miracle'!"

Kamakazi Flies

'It's worse than I thought: the frog in your throat has a frog in its throat.'

"Could I get a single perfect olive branch?"

"Whoa, someone's been doing some gathering."

'What did you take away from the meeting?'

"Actually, I got some pretty good ideas when I was in the box."

'Okay, you can have freedom of speech, but watch your language!'

'To tell you the truth, I don't think the average consumer will notice. Run with it.'

Opportunity knocked.

"Do you know where Noah kept the bees?" "In the ark hives?"

"Sometimes it's easier if you break the work up into little chunks."

"I think you need a hearing test."

"Good news. The test results show it's a metaphor."

'Don't sign any binding agreements that we can't un-bind.'

"I only see the tech guru and the financial wizard. No sign of the systems ninja."

'Interesting... From the way you describe it, it's almost as though the flu has... 'gone viral,' per se.'

"When examining these new contracts, gentlemen, please note that in Paragraph 48 the word 'golden' has been replaced by 'plywood' and 'parachute' is now 'toboggan.'"

"I don't need a will, I've spent it all. Draft me a won't."

'Our goal is to eliminate tax loopholes... so from now on they'll be called donut holes.'

'What comes after a mayfly?' 'A junebug?'

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"That's not what I meant when I asked you to rearrange the DNA!" (Scientist has drawn 'AND' on the board).

Bacteria speaks on cellular phone,'Marty, I'm just about to divide, so I can't make it for lunch. Both of us will get back to you.'

You are what you eat!

"I'm sorry, but this is a capital campaign."

"My name is Jerome and I will be your summons server this evening."

'I can't remember it right now, but it's on the tips of my tongue...'

"Don't listen. It's a red herring."

Beggar's sign: 'Accepting new clients.'

Feng Shui classes / How to say Feng Shui Classes