Dictionary Lover Gifts

Dictionary Publishing Inc. May I have a word with you?

'What does monotonous mean?' - 'I've told you a thousand times.'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Bed Spread"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Eldrow

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

Wordplay: Export.

"I found out why we study vocabulary. Last night, my mother told me to ruminate, and I spent three hours in my room."

Crossword Dictionary Bookstore

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

The Oxford Comma Coin

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

"Spoiler alert...Z."

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

Thesaurus Publishing: In a Meeting, Gathering, Conference, Forum, Discussion.

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."