Dictionary Collector Gifts

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

'I've been reduced to a sexual innuendo'

"About the business dictionary I bought yesterday. . . the word 'holiday' seems to be missing!"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Party time.

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

'Hey, look at this beauty... Man, I love those crunchy, well tanned sweethearts!'

'My French is not so good.'

'Charles Darwin explains how he came up with the phrase 'Well I'll be a monkey's uncle'.'

Michel Roux Jr

"The definitions in this dictionary seem at odds with the words they're describing?"

Thesaurus Publishing: Welcome, Greetings, Salutations

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

Chicken soup for the soul of the chicken in the soup.

'Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.'

"Museum of Over-Used Phrases"

Books - 'Cooking a duck' & 'Ducking a cook'.

"It's the best thing since bread torn into little pieces."

"Da, I know what opprobrium means."/ "That's great, son. Do you know anyone else who does?"

"Dad, I know what opprobrium means." "That's great, son. Do you know anyone else who does?"

Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

Samuel Johnson