Encyclopedia Lover Gifts

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Bed Spread"

"Useless information"

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

Wordplay: Export.

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"Dinosaurs are cool!"

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

The Oxford Comma Coin

Trivia/Great Literature.

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Not that kind of hare, Rapunzel!"

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'