Word Crafters Gifts

Plato's Republic as it was written and as it would have been written if Plato's academy had invested in a good word processor,

Campaign for Plain English

Reading my Critics

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

Ruddy bloggers!

'He was a great writer'

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

Jorge Luis Borges

Best Seller

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Not now, dear, I'm trying to listen to the Muse.'

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"Caption contest"

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Ed is a man of few words. And few letters.'

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

A Poet

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Weapens of Mass Instruction

"My creative writing professor suggested that I write about what I know...from my own experience!"

"I love you, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, but I'm through getting slippers for someone who hasn't published anything since 1997."

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'I want my ideas called 'concepts' not 'notions'.'

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

Book editor tells Jesus legal says he can't use title 'Greatest Story Ever Told'.