Phrase Crafter Gifts

Translator

Do it yourself books.

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Jeff's Smorgasbord

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

Day 38 of self-isolation and many people are using the time to discover and enjoy new hobbies.

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'He's still addressing the nation.'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

Cross-country knitting.

What are you going to do with your face masks when we no longer need them?

'Yes, I received your resume that you emailed. I ran a fact check and I was wondering if you know that a half truth is a whole lie.'

"I had to get braces."

School of Baristas

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

Wooly mammoth

'Please pardon the inconvenience while this web page is under construction.'

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

A woman knits from a globe.

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

Rebels without a magic marker

"All too human is fine- unless, of course, it's all too often."

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

"It'll be interesting to see what granny ends up with...she ran out of yarn and is using spaghetti!"

Garden Art

Plato's Republic as it was written and as it would have been written if Plato's academy had invested in a good word processor,

Octopus and Swordfish

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

"I had to make the heart blue because I used up all my red crayons at Christmas time."

Easy knitting project

"My dog bit the neighbor who does my homework."